


no learning curve could ever bend us too far out of shape

by serenascampbell



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Arguing, F/F, Fluff, ILYs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 14:00:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13789224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenascampbell/pseuds/serenascampbell
Summary: charity tells debbie that vanessa doesn't mean anything to her, and vanessa overhears. arguments ensue, angst followed by fluff.





	1. you wrote your name in invisible ink

“Deb, it’s nothing! The only reason I didn’t tell ye’ was because I thought it’d be over b’ the time ye’ even got back ‘ere! It’s just a bit of fun! It’s not like I’m gunna finally settle down for someone like Vanessa bloody Woodfield!”  

Vanessa walked into the back room with a face like sour ale, snatched up the cardigan she had come looking for, and turned on her heel to face a very guilt-stricken Charity.

“I wouldn’t want to force ye’ to _settle down,_ Charity so I’ll be on m’ way.” Vanessa bit out, showing the catty side of herself that normally made her girlfriend go weak at the knees. “Send Chas over to pick up Moses’ toys when y’ get a chance. No hurry.”

She whipped round and stalked confidently out of the door, making her way briskly through to the bar with Charity hot on her heels. Pulling her back into the hallway, Charity held Vanessa there while she tried to muster the right words.

“Babe! I was just- I didn’t mean it like that! I was just trying to explain to Debbie why I hadn’t told her about ye’ yet. It came out wrong. Please, babe, don’t be mad.”

“I am mad, Charity. I totally get what you meant. Typical Charity Dingle, no strings attached or she’ll be rid o’ ye’ within a week. I’ll get outta your air.” Vanessa pulled her arm from Charity’s grip and headed out to the bar, picked up her phone from where she had left it beside the Fosters tap and made a beeline for the door.

She knew Charity wouldn’t make a scene, it wasn’t in her nature. That woman was far too stubborn to endanger her reputation for anybody, so she was home and dry now that the rest of the pub would hear if she, God forbid, said something nice.

“Ness!” The Dingle shouted just as Vanessa got to the door, causing her to whip around with an expectant expression. “Come into the back and we can talk about it, or _not_ talk about it…”

Only Charity Dingle would think that now was an appropriate time to be flirtatious. Vanessa huffed, storming out of the pub and almost knocking Pearl off her feet as she went, barely even pausing to apologise as she headed for home with more anger than she knew what to do with.

Everybody had warned her. Not one person in this entire village had told her that dating Charity Dingle was a good idea. Even the woman’s own kids had said she was a piece of work and still, Vanessa had given her a chance like the stupidly optimistic woman that she was.

She’d known this was coming in her head, even if she’d been doing her damndest to ignore the fact. Of course, Charity Dingle had broken her heart! It was practically her party trick, and yet somehow, Vanessa had let it happen.

“Ugh!” she groaned as she slammed the front door shut behind her and prepared for an afternoon of wallowing alone on the couch.


	2. what was kindness in our eyes

“Mum. Back room. Now.” Debbie demanded shortly, dragging Charity by the wrist away from the bar.

Without too much complaint, Charity followed obediently and flopped down onto the sofa with a face like a wet weekend in Hotten.

“There are punters out there waiting to be served, Deb, what do you want?” Charity complained, wide-eyed and impatient.

“Since when do you care about her? An hour ago, you’re saying she’s a bit of fun and nothing more, and now, you’re acting the world’s falling apart because she’s stormed out. Either you don’t care and you’re well rid of ‘er, or you do and you need to go and get ‘er back, one or the other, Mum,” Debbie stated bluntly, sitting next to Charity and noticing a softness in her mother that she so rarely saw.

Charity pursed her lips, pondered for a moment where she was supposed to go from here. This was quite blatantly the end in her books, there wasn’t a chance in Hell that ‘Ness would take her back after that. Frankly, if she did, Charity had half a mind to smack some sense into her and tell her how much better she deserved.

“She’d never take me back even if I tried, Debs. She’s too nice for me and she always was. Don’t know why she stuck with me _this_ long if I’m bein’ honest,” Charity admitted, looking glumly down at her feet in a way which made her pity herself a disgusting amount. “It’s over and done with now, saved myself any hurt feelings down the line, ‘ent I.”

“Looks like you’re pretty hurt already. Stop being a sap about it and go and tell her that you were being an idiot. I know you, and I know that you don’t get this cut up about just anybody leavin’ ye’ so she better be bloody worth the trouble. If yer’ just gonna leave her in a few weeks then there’s no point, but the look on yer’ face says that isn’t gunna happen.”

Debbie can’t help but feel a little bit jealous of Vanessa in that moment. Charity would go running, apologise and open up and tell her what she needs to hear, but she never did for Debbie and that hurt. Of course, it was easy to take for granted that Debbie was always going to be there because they were family and that meant something, something that Vanessa might never understanding if her Mum wouldn’t grow a pair.

Charity’s eyes flick up to look at her daughter, see the expectation there and she feels paralysed. Already in the past fortnight, she’d told Vanessa that she’d felt jealous and that she cared about her and suddenly the emotional detachment that _was_ Charity Dingle was something she struggled to conjure.

“What if she says no, Debs?” Charity mumbled, biting her lip and becoming acutely aware of how tight her chest felt.

“Then I’ll go and knock some sense into her, won’t I. Because you’re my Mum and I know there isn’t a person in this village who really deserves you, so if she has the _nerve_ to think she deserves better? She’s headed for the madhouse,” Debbie promised, patting her Mum’s thigh to punctuate the point before standing up and heading for the door. “Lucky for you, if you go now, I might forget to tell Chas that you bailed on ye’ shift again.”

 With a wry smile, Charity stood up and braced herself emotionally for a hell of a slanging match. If she was going to ruin her reputation for someone, it may as well be the only one she really gave a toss about.


	3. we'll take turns to untangle the knots

The knock on her door had been unexpected. Either Charity had sent Chas to do her dirty work and try, half-heartedly, to fix things, or Rhona had heard the gossip and come over to console her.

“Look, I really-” Vanessa began as she pulled open the front door, wrapped in a throw blanket with a cup of tea in hand. Her words were stunted at the sight of Charity, stood on her doorstep sheepishly. “What the heck d’ya think you’re doin’ ‘ere?”

“I’m here to apologise. Can I come in?” Charity asked shyly, eyes trailing the ground as to avoid eye contact.

More out of curiosity than anything, Vanessa stepped aside and let Charity in, following as she headed for the living room. This was going to be, at the very least, interesting.

“I know I was a cow, you’re used to that by now, but I didn’t mean what I said and I was just being an idiot, as per usual, and you’re not just a bit of fun and you know that I care about you,” Charity managed to force out, stumbling over her words as they raced over her tongue. “So, I’m sorry and please can you forgive me because for like, the first time in ages, I actually don’t want to lose ye’.”

Vanessa remained in a stunned silence for a moment, eyes narrowed as she processed Charity’s words.

“Charity, ye’ don’t get to use your past as an out every time ye’ do somethin’ wrong. Just because I’m the lucky lady who you’ve decided ye aren’t gonna cheat on or ruin the life of just yet, doesn’t mean ye’ get a free pass to be heartless all the time!” Vanessa snapped out, deciding in that very moment that she wasn’t going to roll over and take it. “And I have absolutely no clue if you care about me. Ye’ say ye’ do but your word isn’t exactly your bond, Charity, and you’ve done absolutely nothing to show that ye’ give a damn whether I live or die.”

“I’m here! I am here actually taking the risk of becoming the laughin’ stock of the village, puttin’ everything I have on the line to try and get you back. That is a first for me, ‘Ness! You know full well that if you tell Tracy about this, I will never hear the end of it ‘til the day I die, and I came besides! I’d _rather_ let Chas makes digs at me for the rest of my life for actually having a heart than risk the chance that I could’ve got you back if I’d have the nerve to try and get ye’!”

Johnny is only upstairs, he could wake up at any minute and throw a spanner in the works, and Vanessa thinks about that. She knows her resolve would melt the moment she heard Johnny, so excited to see Charity had come to see him, and she couldn’t let that happen.

“I know this scares you, fine, I am very flattered that you are risking your oh-so-infamous reputation as heartless bitch of the Dales. Why’d ye’ saying then, Charity? I know full well you wouldn’t lie to Debbie like that for no reason, so why would ye’ say it if ye’ didn’t mean it?”

Charity ignores the lump that is rising in her throat, she won’t crumble so easily. Honesty is one thing but tears are a whole new territory which she is not even slightly ready to venture into.

“I was lying to myself, okay! If you’re just a bit of fun, just something that’s gonna last a few weeks until a pretty little thing comes along and whisks ye’ off your feet then I won’t get attached, will I! I’m not in the business of letting my heart get broken, especially not by women who are gonna jump ship for the first new face that rolls into town.”

Vanessa scoffs at that last part, rather entertained by the suggestion that she’d be the one to leave for somebody else. That was Charity’s trademark move.

“I’m not gonna leave ye’ for some skanky little farmer, Charity. Ye’ weren’t just a gateway to the wonderful world of women, I like _you,_ ye’ absolute nutter!” Vanessa offered, rolling her eyes at how ridiculous she thought the entire situation was. “I understand not wanting to let yerself get hurt but I’m not gonna leave ye’ for no reason, Charity. I’m not some nasty little heartbreaker!”

“I know you aren’t! But that doesn’t mean you aren’t gonna leave eventually! Everybody does, whether I break their heart or they just get bored, everybody leaves and I’m not gonna put myself through that again! As long as I tell myself it’s true then I’m not falling in love with you!”

Charity’s eyes go wide at the realisation of what she has just said. Vanessa freezes up, unsure of whether it was the intensity of the moment or a desperate plea to get her back, telling herself it was everything but the truth. She saw the fear in Charity’s eyes, so impossible to hide in this moment with no bravado to cover it up, and she melted.

“I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you,” Vanessa promised softly, using Charity’s own words as she crossed into the landlady’s personal space and wrapped her hands around Charity’s wrists. “Look at me.”

Nervously, Charity shifted her gaze and saw the softness in Vanessa that made her feel so instantly at ease.

“Stop being so afraid of what you’re feeling. I’m never gonna use that against you. I might be an awful girlfriend and I might break your heart but I am never, and I can promise this, gonna use what you feel against you because I’m not a cruel, conniving little swine, even if I seem like one at times,” Vanessa practically vowed, sincerity practically oozing from her.

The two met in a tender, innocent kiss. The kind that Charity saw the old married couples in the pub share and cringed at, wondering if passion died when you hit a certain age. She smiled against Vanessa’s lips, unable to stop herself in her relief.

She pulled back, resting her forehead against Vanessa’s, barely a hairsbreadth between them.

“I might actually love you a bit…quite a bit,” she murmurs, her lips brushing Vanessa’s with every syllable.

“I love you a bit too,” Vanessa replied, drawing her hand up to the back of Charity’s neck and kissing her again. And actions did speak louder than words, but words could speak volumes.

 


End file.
